When the home echoes that mum has not passed….
Before the last Snow Drop melts……
Ode To Milk Flower.
In this grave of Jan a welcome sight,
Site of sorrow yields bright
Hold faith for the year show-light
Starlight gazing in this dead-light,
Delicate beads spilling white
The years first tender bite
Drawn up through earth tight
Angels drawn in earths night
Flirting in Winters unloving bite…..
Milk Flower emerges in sight!
Q ~ What does the sight of snowdrops bring to you….?
And now you prevail merely a beginning,
And already I`m disheartening.
You are not Summer or Spring romancing
And even Autumn I keep in holding.
You descend promise-less,
You descend a lock key-less.
A charmless gift that lingers impatience-less,
Untied in dried grass dreamless,
In aromas of bitterness,
From the baked sun of June`s end amiss
Do not let earth walk in sleep,
For I`m helpless in weeping,
With flora absent, few creatures peeping,
In this contemplation before me, Winter a sweep.
No hue left, does seep,
To ease these long drawn short days steeped
A negative of seasons reaped.
In this January day in brown,
How will I stir, when morning light in frown?
Un-ascending till lunch touch-down.
And all I sight is scare and brown,
In this cupboard bare-down.
You are not ones season of best!
I become bluer still with dark-some, rested,
Before me and more-so unblessed,
In these days of night, frozen of zest.
The heart freezing still under-vest.
You cast the canvas white,
Each solum morn light.
Blowing feather and fur a brutal breath bite,
Leaving tiny beats a mountain plight.
As I`m earthed beside a burning timber light,
Not prevailing till daffodils in sight.
Does Winter make you sigh….. ?
This early bird got the worm…. well the dawning unfolding!
So glad I dragged myself up and out the door when I did, any later and this morning would of been missed…..
First tabs for me on this beautiful morning awakening, as the land nudges ever so slowly from the nights slumber. The sun peeping through the mist reminds me of misty eyes not quite come to. The mist adds a sense of a winters dream, the far not emerging till i walk closer!
– The land still stands!
The sun starting to peep through means surely we are in for a lovely day (hopefully….. morning at least?)
The dimmer switch slowly turns, the new day calling….
This morn is peaceful, so still after yesterdays rain
Mother as woken in a different mood, she is calm this morn
For now the earth is mine, just mine…..
Fresh air fills the nose, ears hushed in stillness, eyes see the land emerging in this beautiful winter sunrise and my footprints leave the first marks.
– A touch of frost came over-night – leaves on the ground give a crunch, and gems of water frozen, hang from bare branches. Tree trunks – tall and short, branches among the tree tops. Bracken piles all add to this vista unfolding.
I walk not alone – Roe deer already roaming the land, 3 I count.
A blue tit sings before breakfast, a buzzard already searching for his.
White-washed white pearls – Winters floral beauty, dainty snowdrops now in full bloom catch the eye in the half-light.
The land may be in hibernation, yet she is a pretty sight.
The land is smiling and I smile back……
Thank you nature for dragging me out.
It is just over a year since mum passed, I am still grieving. (Actually maybe not fully come to terms with the fact that mum will not come back through the front door.)
It`s these Winter days that best sum up how I feel……
Some days are the Winter day 1 (that comes in sad black) –
I am Winter, dormant. No early signs of Spring.
The Winter day that upon daylight a white blanket as settled, – A white out and stuck inside till the thaw melts away the frozen tears. A bitter chill of a world I do not want to battle today….. hibernation is my answer, forced back under, earths blanket too heavy to lift this day. Grey fills the skies and comes inside too…….
Other days are the Winter day 2 (that comes in hope of white) –
Those Winter days that feels Spring as sprung……
The heavens roll in blue and the sun stays out, gives a welcoming hug (in the right spot), the birds are out and sing a fine tune and flowers too pop-up – clumps of snowdrops, a early daffodil, primroses in the garden or branches of blossom…. pastel patches of colour lift the heart and keep a hold of the smile…..
Like each Winters day, I too do not know what I will be tackling till I leave the darkness, brave the awaking, the forced emerging, the window opened and the light I let come in…..
Perhaps a daffodil also,
Perhaps she will flower or perhaps she will not bloom this year…..?
– half a inch or so pushed up through the earth, a glimmer of hope……
Time allows each daffodil her own pace to flourish slowly or fast, each getting to bloom on own terms, when she feels ready. No pressure, just the joy of Springs flower – come late Winter or Late Spring, still blooming in that happy colour of sunshine.
– With a message Winter is fading, Spring is here……. maybe……?
In time I hope for my Winter to fade and my Spring to come and greet…..
(perhaps hanging around……)
I`ll cling to that daffodil – when Winter is gripping to tight to my heart, yet not wanting to fade away…..
And that delicate snowdrop too – who braves the freeze, mother cannot stop her heart beating.
Whilst this freeze of mine almost stops my heart beating and mother can not help, I`ll be brave on my own when skies of grey roll in…..
And the dots of pink among the bare cherry branches – specks of heart-beats of hope…. life back again this year. Too my heart beats a little stronger when warmth brings a smile back on my face,
Out the back door – sunny with a nippy wind chill, beautiful.
Out the window no white blanket does cover or white dew drops on-top the grass….. yet still a beautiful winters day all around.
Winter is calling – the wind is chilled, the finger tops frozen. The sun offers a warm welcoming hug (in the right spot), and whispers creatures of all sizes to come out and seek…. and they have – small birds all over – in voice and just in sight, red kites up high, a hare ground level.
In no Winter slumber, the earth not bare- patches of green hue, shows hints of summers crop. Catkins of the hazel to have appeared. The trees lost of there decor, shimmer by solar power in this late morning light, no sad skeleton sight and a chance to admire there outlines – the shapes, the trunks, the inside lost in much of the year.
Simple colours, this black and white vista offers peace, mediation and relaxation. Making a change from natures fav green hue – fresh Spring green and then Summers green overload, and then Autumns vivid colour.
New paths come to light, old paths now easy paths – unobstructed, no bramble tripwire, no nettle stings, no hidden wasp nests (was summer walks such a joy?!) anywhere seems possible!
– I`m warm enough and the dogs still boundless with energy….. and I`m surprised Winters earth is keeping me out….
The landscape of winter in plain sight, such a wonderful view……
No frills of frost or snow needed, the bare that winter brings is no place to avoid!
And a moments eye shut and Spring it feels….
The last walk of the day and twilight is descending…..
Upon approaching the woodland the sun turns into a ball of fire, the heavens too a blaze of neon pink! The day refusing to go without a spectacular goodnight.
As i wander through this land of trees, the silhouettes of the trees – all branches and bare gives the impression the wood is on fire – eerie!
While i trend carefully watching where i place each step (deep mud, rabbit holes, ruts, poo etc!), I spot two roe deer running across the path way and then pausing to watch me disappear into the distance…
A few paces later a woodcock shoots up from among a bracken heap (a winters tick), nice to know i am not alone in this strange time of day.
A small dusk chorus sings above ear level (the rest obviously getting the warmest perches for this long winters night…). After the pheasant with a racket (he is no singer) (he always gets the last say) brings silence to this wood.
The day fading signals a end of day bell to encourage the nights slumber,
Mother (nature) calls bed time and light fades out.
(So much nicer and very encouraging to tell of bed time then the mornings alarm – can we have that too? Please?).
The day done, time for a long rest on what feels already will be a freezing night…
The sunset wiped, dusk settles, not quite pitch-black….
I awoke to a chill this morn….. with curtains pulled back…. the garden was frozen, a proper frost in view! But i do not mind, for the sun is bright and warming to the heart. A promise to of a fine day, those winter blues will not strike today.
And the extra jobs the frost brings are no chore;
– The basket of logs restocked and brimful!
fire-side dozing this evening will keep me going…!
– The birds are grateful for a helping hand, i am sure.
– A life-line too the un-thawing of the bird baths.
A smile they give back upon watching them bathe… how? When the water is surely beyond freezing?!
They all come to stock up and splash – sparrows, dunnocks, a robin, blackbirds (they appear to be kiss chasing already, no Christmas blues for them!), a couple of starlings, blue tits, and my old friends (yes!). The Blackbirds struggle to hang on the feeder and peck at the same time, so they had a fat-ball left on the ground (Its the little things).
Surprisingly no squirrel today!
I retreat indoors, the fingers numb, the layers shed (no bad weather with the right coat – fact.), yet the soul is warm.
The hounds seem to love this cold weather(!?!)…. the asking will be answered after porridge and a search for my thermals…..
A flipping freezing winters day to store for Summers memory….!?
I need to release a pigeon ramble, sorry!
What is the purpose of the pigeon, I often wonder to myself……
The garden alone is packed full of his mates! Where do they come from?
For he spends his days appearing only to wind me up. No, really!
He scares of innocent little feathered friends that gather at the snack station, to gorge on there food and much more! So greedy!
So I bang the window! I shout! I bang the window again! I shout again! He continues to swing from the feeder!!
But Why? When he is plenty big enough to find is own refreshments.
Then the cheeky bugger will move onto the bathing pool….
Sitting fully in the fresh bird bath, turning it in to a private members club, so rude!
Im back, banging the window! shouting! I bang the window again! I shout again! He only glares back!
Only leaving after he as actually done his OWN BUSINESS (Nice!) right in the centre!!
And a filthy film over the waters surface (i guess from his greasy coat?). Which then results in the bird bath now out of bounds (And a little elbow grease on my part), and bypassed by all the feathered birds.
What serves the purpose of this silly big bird?!
(Who continues to mock and make silly sounds from the electric cables, out of reach! But not sight!)!?!?
Right folks pigeon ramble over.
Out the window:- Overcast, high cloud and 6`C (how? when I am cold!)
Winter is here!
That faded memory when the day is darksome, it is 1.30pm and i am still not awake.
Oh Winter, the day feels so miserable, no paint hangs on this canvas. The scene before me and weather above complete a perfect match of a noir master-piece!
Before afternoon tea is poured it will be night-fall and this body will shut-down!
A nod to past ancestors, perhaps me too should hibernate…. duvet hiding till warm breath drifts in the window…..?!
I do diss-like winter for he leaves no promise, only cold hearts and hands a cold shoulder and too a bitter taste to all. Only we that cling to a invisible hope that may come in patches of yellow…..
In this January day in brown,
How will I stir, when morning light in frown,
Un-ascending till lunch touch-down!
And all i sight is scarce and brown,
In this cupboard bare-down.
(A verse from “Oh Winter” by K.Blackmore)